In Defense of Valentine's Day

There are a few things you should know about me.


I have a paralyzing fear of balloons and snakes.

If, for whatever reason, you hated me and wanted to torture me in the meanest way possible putting snakes in balloons and then filling my bedroom with the terrifying snake-alloons would be the perfect way to do it. For maximum terrification I recommend creating a device that will make the balloons pop at random intervals thus creating extreme anxiety about both popping noises and the increasing proximity to a slithering death creature.

Also...

I love Valentine's Day.

So, if whatever reason you loved me, and wanted to delight me in the nicest way possible the best way to do it would be with a Valentine - perhaps a Valentine that somehow incorporated wine and cake, because I love those things too..



As a young energetic lass with an incredibly artistic mother I always had the most amazing Valentine's Day boxes. While other children were covering their pathetic little shoe boxes with foil and construction paper hearts my mother and I were busy gutting the inside of a beloved teddy bear and shoving a plastic bottle up it's tuckus to create a free standing "Love Bear" . Though mine was clearly the best and most original VDay box, it wasn't the status that appealed to me. It was the process of creating something special with my Mom.


Yes, at an early age I knew the true meaning of Valentine's Day - love.


I'm kidding, at an early age I believed Valentine's Day was about getting gifts, being adored, parties with frosted cookies and finding a super cute boy to kiss and hold hands with. Once I even threw a fit when my father neglected to get me, his only daughter, a Valentine's Day present. (A few years later, learning his lesson, he gave me a SUPER sweet light purple hair crimper. That thing was amazing.)


It took me a while to find my love for Valentine's Day. 

So I can kinda see where there are some who aren't quite on board...yet. 

I've heard a lot of criticism of VDay this past week - from Jim Gaffigan on CBS Sunday Morning to the Huffington Post chart entitled "Will You Be Disappointed this Valentine's Day?" with every answer leading to yes to people questioning the history of the holiday. 

(said in my whiny baby voice)  It's too commercial. We don't need a silly holiday to remind us to love each other. I'm single, Valentine's Day makes me feel sad inside. 



Blarg. Come on people. 


I spent some time researching St. Valentine and the origination of this wonderful holiday and here's what I've come up with: 

The commercial holiday naysayers annoy me. Don't participate in the commercialism. Make your cards on recycled handmade paper, confect your own confections, grow your own flowers - or keep it simple and just look someone in the eyes and say "I love you".
Just because some idiots spend their dough on giant white teddy bears and oversized heart-shaped Mylar balloons saying "be mine" doesn't mean you have to. But don't throw the baby out with the bath water. She's a perfectly good baby.

Yes we fucking do need a holiday to remind us to love each other. Come on. We are awful, horrible, selfish people who are so uncomfortable with love we try to squelch the ONE DAY we've set aside to celebrate it. Look around, the world is rather lacking in love. If anything we need Valentine's Day once a month. Get on it Obama. 

Sure, we shouldn't have to remind people to express their love, but we do. It's very silly. It's also silly that we need labels on cigarette and rat poison packages to warn people they are deadly. It's silly we have to tell people not to preform the stunts on Jackass. It's silly we have to create laws telling people to wear their motherfucking seat belts, but that's just how it is.



As an overweight crazy cat lady who spent most of her Friday nights putting on fashion shows for her cat and eating chicken in the bathtub while watching Grease 2  I was never the target Valentine's Day audience. Rarely did I ever have a romance, let alone one that occurred on the holiday.  No one was sending me roses or chocolates or cards. I was a classic candidate for Anti-Valentine's Day -the kind of girl who should have spent her VDay dressed all in black, stalking local restaurants and sabotaging the romantic dates of happy couples. Or I should've cried while watching Nicolas sparks movies and eating gallon sized tubs of ice cream. I should've be sad. I was alone, because cats don't count as life partners. And to be alone is miserable and pathetic. 


Except I didn't feel miserable or pathetic. My tears didn't wash the fabric of my pillow every February 14th. I never dressed all in black - I prefer to dress like a rainbow. I was delighted for my friends who were happily coupled. 

I was happy being single on Valentine's Day or any other day, because I loved myself. 

First, when you have a cat around you are never truly alone. And no I don't care if that sounds pathetic. Cats are amazing. Especially mine.

Second, spending time by myself isn't depressing. It's awesome. I love myself -and I'm not talking masturbation (though it's perfectly healthy). I could spend a whole night just talking to myself in the mirror or doing a crazy art project or creating a short story about the weird guy in the neighborhood who walks around carrying a brief case full of cat food or getting drunk and making a new dish out of all the ingredients in the fridge. With me around there are endless fun things to explore.


Third, I think we make the mistake that romantic love is the only kind of love that counts. Or it counts the most. How limiting. How sad. I spent most of my young adult years being single, but I was never short on love. I have amazingly loving parents, a brother who adores me, friends who fill my life with love and laughter, co-workers who support and care about me, and grandparents and aunts and cousins. My life has always been filled to the brim with love. So, even just hanging with a cat and a rotisserie chicken on Valentine's Day I was still the luckiest girl in the world. I often decorated my tiny apartment with glitter hearts and mailed Valentine's cards to all my friends. Because if you are lucky enough to have love in your life at all then that is certainly something worth celebrating.




I've added more love to my life since being a single crazy cat lady.

Two more cats. 

I'm kidding. 



Actually, I have three cats, two children, an amazingly loving lady and one breathtakingly beautiful life. 

And you better believe I am sure to tell them all how much I love them EVERY SINGLE DAY, but especially on Valentine's Day. The day I set aside to go the extra mile and make a celebration out of my loves. 


I highly recommend you do the same and have yourself a very Happy Valentine's Day.